Comments, anyone?

Have you ever planned a night out at an upscale restaurant that came highly recommended and boasted great reviews? You pull up to the front entrance under an awning of lights and swiftly greeted by the valet. You then stroll inside and are then escorted to your table, awestruck by the elegance of plush surroundings. After ordering your meal, you sip your favorite beverage and bask in the ambience with the highest of expectations for the meal you’re about to be served. When it arrives, you rush to savor the chef’s creation. Then the unexpected happens; your palate screams rejection! Everyone around you appears to be enjoying their meal, but for you, it’s just doesn’t work. The spices, the flavors, they’re just not what you expected. And so, you either stop eating, fold your napkin and place it on the plate, or you suffer through the rest of the meal in disappointed silence, perhaps hoping it will somehow taste better near the end. Either way, the experience is a bust.

Chefs, artists, musicians, fashion designers, and authors, to name a few, are among those who labor with pride to produce a product that is well regarded by those who experience it. But they all accept the same reality that not everyone will appreciate their efforts. There will be praise and there will be criticism. With some, you’ll strike the perfect chord leaving them with a desire for more. Others, however, will wince as if chewing on a lemon, and the feedback won’t be pretty. It’s how we react to feedback, either positive or negative, that often reveals our path toward future success.

To date, I have had three books published, a fourth book completed but in the editing process, and a fifth book whose outline is nearly finished. I have received feedback in many forms: Amazon reviews, emails, book club gatherings, public presentations, and visits to my cubicle at work! It’s easy to beam when people tell you how much they’ve enjoyed your book, but the real challenge is remaining poised and respectful when the feedback is a bit harsh and not what you expected to hear. Thick skin, I keep telling myself, as I gaze back at my detractors or read the reviews posted online. Like that bad experience in the five-star restaurant, I guess they just didn’t like the meal! But the most important thing to do, regardless of whether the comments are positive or critical, is to listen to them and learn something from it. Maybe there’s some merit to what they’re saying. Maybe I did miss something or could have been more descriptive in my writing.

This all reminds me of some feedback I received from my very first book. I guess I was like that new chef on his first night in the restaurant. I wanted to satisfy everyone’s palate and deliver something they would all enjoy. My book had been published in paperback and Kindle and was available on a Tuesday. On Thursday, I received a text message from my dear cousin who lives in Pennsylvania. She had downloaded the Kindle version and read it in one day! The text she sent started out on how much she enjoyed the story. I instantly felt a sense of pride and relief (even if it was a relative giving me a boost). Well, then I read the next line: I sent you an email with a list of things you need to look at.

Wait, what?

I quickly opened up the email she sent and there it was – a long list of page numbers, each followed by a comment of what I needed to look at. There were typos, a missing word here and there, a better way to say something, an incomplete thought….. Yikes. This was the meal I served to the public? After I spit out the lemon I was chewing on, I quickly got to work addressing all the mistakes, rewrote a few lines, and improved the story. Since that initial feedback experience, I have been more welcoming to whatever comments and reviews come my way, understanding that it's all just part of the process.

What was the line Kevin Bacon said in the movie Animal House during the fraternity initiation? Thank you, sir, may I have another? Sure, it might sting, but the more feedback I ask for, positive or negative, the more it will hopefully help me to become a better writer.